9 Reasons Yogis would Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

9 Reasons Yogis would Survive a Zombie Article originally published in Yogatropic on September 8, 2016

Picture it. A secret government lab engineers a virus meant as a bio weapon against terrorists, when something goes horribly wrong.

Test rats should have simply degenerated from the inside out and died. And they did at first. But then they revive with a supernatural vigor, and begin to attack healthy cage mates.

Scientists thought their concocted virus was limited to the rodent species. This, however, is only one in a long line of mistakes. Twelve hours after a shy, spiky-haired tech gets bitten by a rat, identical symptoms develop in him–rapid deterioration of the skin, death, and then an insurgence of vitality.

The young tech leaps from a metal slab and lunges for the neck of his lady boss. He does this not because she’s cute, but because his brain has been rewired with a lust for nutrient-filled flesh.

Horror envelops remaining members of the government team. It’s like a suffocating dust storm that has them blinded and locked in place. They never warn the public, and the sickly tech escapes.

Free to infect the public, the virus spreads. Military forces quickly find a way to stop the not so dearly departed—impairment of the brain through any means necessary.

In ten days, large portions of the city and surrounding towns are nearly wiped out. Strangely, the yogis remain. Many even lead the charge to protect the innocent. But why?

Why have the nimble, deep breathing yogis survived?

What makes them so indestructible . . . so unlike the rest of the population?

1. Flexibility. 
41 % of mobility comes from muscles, while 47% can be drawn from joints and connective tissue. Various poses or asanas are designed to stretch muscles and add fluidity back into the joints.
Imagine you’re enjoying a cup of joe at an outdoor café, when a decomposing construction worker with gnashing teeth staggers into view. Increased agility means yogi practitioners have an early lead when maneuvering around the rabid jaws of zombie attackers.

2. Stamina
Holding different asanas for long periods of time improve overall body strength, which will in turn encourage endurance. Deep breathing also expands lung capacity. Experienced yogis know that when the body is in stress added oxygen is needed, not only calm the nervous system, but to infuse energy in to cells.
After the initial duck and weave from surprise assaults, yogis will easily flee the scene. Long distances runners and other athletes can certainly pass them by, but that’s okay, yogis will hold their own. We are taught from the beginning, it’s not important what others can do on their mat, but how we progress . . . or keep our own butts safe from virus-infested chompers.

3. Body composition
Yoga tones skin and strengthens your body, but because stretching is incorporated into every practice, muscles become elongated, rather than bulky. Overtime legs, arms and abs will be leaner, although glutes tend to lift. An overall leaner physique will make it easier to slide between buildings or under fences to escape the ever increasing numbers of hordes.

4. Better balance than the average bear. 
Figure four, tree, and warrior three are just a few asanas that require balancing on one leg for an extended period. Developing internal equilibrium, along with an awareness of tiny muscle groups is essential. You never know when you’ll need to scale a roof peak, or skip along boulder tops in ponds with drowning zombies.

warrier-three

5. Not only core, but overall strength. 
Many yoga asanas involve the activation of core muscles. Strong abs and lower back mean your spine is better supported and more aligned. In the middle of an apocalypse its not always convenient to run off to the chiropractor, but if you’re a yogi, its not as necessary. In a very real way, your making your own adjustments. Also, when you’re done with running and decide its time to fight, core muscles enable strong punches and kicks.

6. Injury Prevention
All athletics should incorporate yoga into their training schedules, if nothing else, for injury prevention. Being flexible means you’re less likely to tear muscles from swift or aggressive sports like hockey, football . . . or brawling with the impulsively combative undead.

7. Recovery 
Even if a yogi were to become injured they’d recover much faster. Yoga teaches us to relax specific reflexes that contract muscles. When a nerve impulse is fired into the spinal cord we can respond with an appropriate overriding message.

Myotatic Reflex cause a muscle that has been lengthened to tense up if put into a stretched position. In yoga, you can learn to stop this reflex using breathing techniques which enable a potentially injured muscle to receive an allowable stretch to help reduce inflammation and pain.

Holding a yoga pose for approximately fifteen seconds will cause the Inverse Myotatic Reflex to respond. It enables the stretched muscle group to eventually relax. If there is an injury the muscle will benefit when this reflex responds. It is also effective to aid muscle spasms.

8. Sustainability
Because yoga super powers are acquired from your own body mass, rather than weights and machines, it’s more efficient to your physical needs. Yogis don’t build or sculpt their body for show, so their physique will not require special diets or caloric quotas to keep on. Staying adaptable in ever-changing situations is key to survival.

9 Reasons Yogies would Survive a Zombie

9. Clarity of thought
Breathing, Meditation, and Yin practices help focus the mind. Yin specifically can put you into initially uncomfortable, but not injury provoking, positions. When the body is agitated your only resource is to force the mind to calm, return to breath, and take control of your reactions. This is only one form of meditation.

Try this out. Sit cross legged on the floor. Like you did when you were a kid. But stagger legs slightly, so that your calf does not rest on an ankle. Do your knees settle close to the floor or lift above your hips bones?

If they rise, it most likely means you have tight hip flexors. This creates a curvature in the spine, and can lead to back, shoulder and neck pain–not to mention headaches, a tight jaw, sleep issues and so on. In fact, every weakness and imbalance create a domino effect throughout the body and eventually filter into the emotional. Too many people are in pain. So, while everyday life is not an apocalypse, most of us do in exist in highly stressful, and physically challenging situations. Because yoga encourages a holistic approach you are better equip to deal.

Without sounding trite, yoga incorporates and acknowledges the Body, Mind & Spirit. Whatever the disaster, cooler heads, and efficiently strong and agile bodies will prevail. This is what the world needs. Conscious, mentally formidable citizens who are less reactive, and more connected to everything around them. And it all begins with caring for the body–the temple which houses your spirit.

So, I strongly suggest that, for the welfare of the nation, everyone takes in a yoga class every now and again.

Leave a Reply